Personal Body Image.

It's weird how 2 1/2 years ago I looked in the mirror ashamed of what I looked like because I weighed in at 186lbs. Now, weighing in at 135lbs, I still have the same shame. My BMI (Body Mass Index) is 23.9. (Calculated with this website). I am in a healthy range. But, I find that I compare myself to others too much. I see other women who are the same height and weight as me, but I am left wondering why I don't look like them. Why can't my body look the same? I focus too much on where the fat is, where it hangs, rather than where its going (going, going, GONE!). I struggle with my depression and anxiety. Naturally, working out and eating healthier is the first thing that comes to mind to help with these issues. Unfortunately, it only helps so much.

I need to stop wishing and wanting to have bodies like other women. I need to focus on challenging myself and pushing as far as I can go. I should push myself farther than I ever have before. My body is unuiqe. Men and women alike, we are all different. We don't have the same shapes. STOP COMPARING. Your body, my body, we are all different and it takes different lengths in time, different workouts, different challenges to see a physical improvment in ourselves.

In the end, it all comes down to being proud of ourselves and happy with what we have achieved. My issue is, what if I don't see these achievements? I've lost so much weight. Why am I still complaining about the way I look? Will I ever feel comfortable with myself? Will I ever be happy with who I am? I just have to keep trying. I've gotten to my first goal weight. My next blog will be about that and my newest challenge.