Mysterious bumps

It's hard to see in the picture so maybe if I explain it, you'll see it (you can see them perfectly in real life).
One larger bump on top, then a little triangle trio of three bumps under. Two smaller, two larger. About two weeks ago I was waiting in the car for my Pops to come back from his VA visit and I was messing around with my earring backs (habit) and I noticed the three on the bottom. It freaked me out. I'd never see them before. So a week passed and I noticed the top larger bump got larger. Then about another week later (we are now at two weeks) I noticed the forth up at the top. I put my pinky in to compare. They are hard, they do not move, do not hurt, are UNDER the skin not on top, no acne issues around this area, no irritation or the skin and from what I can tell I haven't had an infection. I guess I will keep you updated.

Change The Way You Look At Pregnancy

Thin

What happens when your mind goes blank,
Or when you don't know what to say?
How do you control those thoughts,
Of missing out just to emotionally please yourself?
When physically it's killing you.
And who are you to judge us on our actions?
When you did it too, at some point...
And what if in the end we all end up skeletons in our beds?
Starving, drooling for the food our bodies need to function.
When in our heads we are fighting a war just to stay thin.
Or how about the scars we carry in our minds, on our skin,
Not to prove you wrong about how sad we are,
But to prove to ourselves we are alive.
We are beautiful.
We are alive.
And beautiful.
Why can't we just be beautiful?

Mysterious Bumps & Slacking Off

So, yea, I admit it...I have been slacking off with working out and eating healthier. It doesn't help I have had my great deal of stress (it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, can I get a little help here?). Lately things have just not been going right around here, bad luck everywhere I turn. I can't see to shake the blues off.

So, I had been planning on going to a "clean" diet next month. A whole month of no fast food, fried, or processed foods. (Sounds easy enough huh?). But, today, while waiting in the car, I noticed three bumps behind my ear on  my neck. Now, I have always had this small lump there before for my entire life but this time there were two larger ones. They don't hurt, they are solid, and they scare me. Now, I can't just run to the doctor and say "Hey, Doc, whats up!?" I'm broke and have no insurance. I read some where that eating too much sugar (which I might be guilty of in this past week, it was my birthday after all...) can cause your lymph nodes to swell, and that MIGHT be it. Anyways, I have decided to eat into my "clean" eating this last week of May to start for June. I hope cutting out sugar will help me out. If not, I will go ask a nurse for some help on whether or not I should see a doctor.

As for working out I really do need to get into the routine again and I do plan on working out daily along with this new diet plan I am starting. For now, this isn't to lose weight. It's to maintain and to keep myself healthy. I really cannot afford another hospital bill.

Poem 1

Seconds wash away my tears
And I just want to face my fears

When the night sky shows the sun
I see my life as a shows rerun

When all I see is a cloudy day
What is there for me to say?

When life throws you a different card
We whine and say life's too hard

And when the words unsaid tear my world apart
At least I still have a beating heart

When seconds turn to hours and more
I just see myself on the oceans shore

When all I want to do is sleep
The lust is gone counting sheep

Another day is long and over
A day as lucky as a four leaf clover

And hide in that tiny corner there
Because you will always find someone to care

The nights are not as dark as they seem
So maybe things will start to look keen

Because in the end we all must die
There really is not reason to cry

- Rebecca Lynn Turner
The first poem I've written in years, well over 5-6 years. It feels nice to vent again.