Seconds wash away my tears
And I just want to face my fears
When the night sky shows the sun
I see my life as a shows rerun
When all I see is a cloudy day
What is there for me to say?
When life throws you a different card
We whine and say life's too hard
And when the words unsaid tear my world apart
At least I still have a beating heart
When seconds turn to hours and more
I just see myself on the oceans shore
When all I want to do is sleep
The lust is gone counting sheep
Another day is long and over
A day as lucky as a four leaf clover
And hide in that tiny corner there
Because you will always find someone to care
The nights are not as dark as they seem
So maybe things will start to look keen
Because in the end we all must die
There really is not reason to cry
- Rebecca Lynn Turner
The first poem I've written in years, well over 5-6 years. It feels nice to vent again.
Before
BEFORE
When I graduated high school I weighed a good 183 lbs. Not that anything was wrong with that, I have seen beautiful women who have weighed more than that! But, I wasn't happy with myself. I was miserable not being able to wear what I wanted and hated that I could barley fit into my graduation dress when the day came. Now, I would like to tell you that I was determined to lose weight, I worked hard, etc. But, that is the thing...I didn't. I suffered from my Gallbladder attacks nightly, daily, and all in between. So, I started to lose weight with a combination of birth control and being sick. As November of 2013 hit, I got down to 140! After my surgery that month, I was down to 128 lbs. My goal was to be 120! This is a healthy weight for my height (5'3") and I plan on gaining and toning my muscles in my arms, stomach, legs, and butt. My goal is not to be "perfect" or "beautiful". My goal is to be happy with who I am PHYSICALLY. UPDATE: A few years later, I still struggle with my weight. I was steady at 130lbs and have gotten myself back up to 155lbs. This is where I'm starting again Nov 8 2014
When I graduated high school I weighed a good 183 lbs. Not that anything was wrong with that, I have seen beautiful women who have weighed more than that! But, I wasn't happy with myself. I was miserable not being able to wear what I wanted and hated that I could barley fit into my graduation dress when the day came. Now, I would like to tell you that I was determined to lose weight, I worked hard, etc. But, that is the thing...I didn't. I suffered from my Gallbladder attacks nightly, daily, and all in between. So, I started to lose weight with a combination of birth control and being sick. As November of 2013 hit, I got down to 140! After my surgery that month, I was down to 128 lbs. My goal was to be 120! This is a healthy weight for my height (5'3") and I plan on gaining and toning my muscles in my arms, stomach, legs, and butt. My goal is not to be "perfect" or "beautiful". My goal is to be happy with who I am PHYSICALLY. UPDATE: A few years later, I still struggle with my weight. I was steady at 130lbs and have gotten myself back up to 155lbs. This is where I'm starting again Nov 8 2014
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